Every night as I lay in my bed, I hate to admit but I take a short escape. When my eyes close, my heart opens. In the quiet moments that I lay still, memories replay themselves. I watch the scenes go by, the people that've come and gone, the places that have be populated and left deserted. I always wonder to myself, is life as fleeting as a dream? How to we make permanent the things that seem to float by?
I tried all my life to capture my dreams. I felt like a fisherman dipping a huge net into the vast ocean and giving a huge sweep. It takes too much effort, we cant fight fate. The net can only hold so much, and so much else will get away. I'm a dreamer and in my own quiet times, I am guilty of letting things pass me by, just thinking passively that dreams are meant to be imagined. I've lost out on putting up a good fight for the things I really want in life, I sink back in my chair rather than take a step forward. In these same ways, I have been very unfair to myself, believing that good things happen to those who wait. This inertia gives me reason to be defeated. I seem happy to be losing.
As I grew older, I became more and more tired. Tired to put a positive spin to a sob story, tired to smile on the days I know are sour. There is no need for falsities and let's not pretend everyday is full of yellow sunbeams. If they're black, they're black. I often think about my dreams however, and I've always wondered how they could retain such perfection, such idealistic flavour that it makes me desire and long to be nowhere but closer to my imagined perfection. The tiredness that is in my soul feeds the energy and the search for that one beautiful thing - i don't even really know what it is anymore. But vaguely i know it does exist; it is almost an essence found in love, life and our dreams.
We search endlessly without knowing what it really is. Take me somewhere so that I can fly again
From : Ethan Chan
Every Moment With Black & White
I Will Fill It With Colours Again :)
