alright today have nothing better to do at work totally no have the mood to work this all
cause really alot of thing pop out in my mind . i don wanna to tell anyone but to keep it in my heart tat all and one thing ish tat i don wish her to find out the reason tat all cause i found my reason ish totally stupidlity but i jus have to do so ... but somehow there a more dumb slut keep at my back saying bad thing but nvm bah mouth ish hers so wat let her be and tat gal i swear i saw her i will tear her into pieces if i can ... GRRR !!! but anyway i told myself tat slut ish not worth it for me to do something on her cause it only dirty my hand ... hmm not going to said this unhappy thing it jus make my mood worsen tat all .
Am going to said abt other thing
many thing had occur on me and i jus found tat i am totally a useless person cause whenever
i get someone will snatch it away from me watever i get ish the last thing from the earth or maybe a rotten apple ... but i have never throw them aside . i been polish them but after tat it been snatch away by other ... hence i tried tink positive everytime but everything jus went corrupted tat all . yesterday wanna to slp but jus cant listening to my song i tink back the past
again i have promise myself not to tink back le everything ish a past ... i agree wit wat she said to me before ... she said he don even treat u well wat for u need to shed tear for him . but do u noe why i shed tear not u donnoe ...it my intergrity tat all u donnoe tat ...
i jus feel tat i have totally lost my soul ... my soul have ran to a place where it so despiceable and so low morale it hurtful whenever i tink back ... althought i manage to gain back my smile but deep inside me ish totally freaking bleeding ...told myself not to cried yesterday but i cant control and jus drop my tear out not only because of him and still alot of thing .
sometime i really envy those ppls wit good life born to be so fortunately but wat to do
this ish all fate and i noe i cant change it so i jus merely accept the fate ... been thru lots and lots of thing le but i jus seems tat i cant handle everything well . i am seriously a failure .
but from now on i won be a loser and failure tat everyone seems to be taking me for granted and do everything jus to hurt me and frankly speaking i will strike for my best to get wat i wan from now on . and i jus can said i am doing beri well now and leading a life as happy as i can now so hmm NELSON !!!
JIA YOU !!!
From : Nelson
The Lonely nite after the dawn !
