today actually on off de luh den
in the end being call back and work in HTA .
mah haiz den go luh before go i go back to central fire station
to report work den after tat help them maintain thing luh hmm
den after tat go to HTA wit captain hmm down there damn big but cant
mit eric luh sad . but nvm in the end finish le den
go back home wait for baby .
hmm said hao hao tat wan go out wit lim they all de mah cause long time no kb
outing le mah den jiu promises them to go luh hmm den in the end around 6 plus baby said not going luh hmm abit dissapointed
but nvm luh jiu go to mit them alone luh down the MRT lim call me ,
they call me and rush me mah hahas den mit them at orchard luh
after tat go walk walk keep disturb ah na and belinda the BEANSPOUT AUNTY hahas jk nia lah tat ish how i disturb her luh hmm .
went to eat at at lucky plaza luh hmm order a tomyam fish slices noodle
but cant finish it zzz cause suddenly no appitite to eat leh sian .
den after tat finish eating we went up to smoke , on the way smoke i nearly light the cigg in the plaza mah zzz den lucky i STOP arbo hong kan luh .
finish smoking ah na they all go off le den we jiu head to fast east plaza
sian lah wanna buy thing but cannot cause i have to save money -_-"
cause need to go oversea luh for vacation hahas
hmm wanna buy alot of thing but cant ARGH den take alot of pic luh but ish taken myself de pic luh haaas went down kb slack awhile jiu go home le .
haiz had an argue wit baby again sian ...
from the moment go down the cab . jiu no talk to me at all
den i tot wat happen in the end reach my house den suddenly give attitude go down mah den i of cause go down lah zzz
haiz i cant said anything le bah cause everyday seems lyk will have abit of arguement luh haiz ...
wat i can said ish she still don trust me bah ...
but wat can i said ...
hmm nothing speechless luh...
maybe it does really take time bah ...
ARGH damn piss off rite now but yet i am showing a happy face i am piss off wit lots of thing but wat i can do ?
i cant show out i can vent out my anger .
but to show the other faces luh .
everytimes feel sad or wat jus lyk to shopping and buy lots of thing .
cause only tat time i can relieve myself and not tink too much .
everyone was lyk the same i donnoe how to comment them or i don even noe how to comfort myself .
haiz damn SHAG !!!
wat to do ??? i really cant do anything ?
cant figure out how to relieve myself .
cant figure out how to stop tinking of him .(c.k.c)
whenever close my eyes my mind suddenly pop out the image of his face .
and will start to ask why he wan to treat me lyk this wat have i actually done
wat makes him become lyk tat . why he can because of a gal and do that to me .
watever i do he really take it for granted meh haiz
my heart never felt this pain before .
it really hurt.
who can i believe . how can i find or when can i find a good frenz . when will i have a frenz tat i can totally share everything wit ?
i am damn paranoid wit this question .
seeing his pic i jus can simply tink back how close we are last time but
now it was jus lyk totally stranger luh . maybe ish i can forgive myself for helping do this kind of thing bah .
i won even forgive myself forever .
never will i forget this incident wat i had done for him .
NEVER!!!
haiz really damn tired wit my life ...
everyday have to put on mask to face other ppl when can i stop putting a mask
when can i stop all this thing .
being sacastic
putting on masks to hide my agony and sadnees inside me .
maybe from now on no more trusting any frenz bah i cant help myself for doing this thing cause i cant be sacrify for every frenz cause i don wish to get hurt anymore . sometime when i tink back everything i do really hate myself alot .
i hate my life ,
i hate wat ish happening around me ,
feeling lyk going to bersark any moment ...
haiz i must control myself luh maybe ish i really too loyal le bah
i don wan to be used again i gonna keep myself in the darkness and never let myself out anymore luh haiz
From : Nelson
Loves LXN
